AEGEEans come in numerous and wonderful varieties. It’s hard to find anything wrong or hilarious about most of them, but we’ve dug deep and found six remarkable types of AEGEEans. Together these six types might one day end up in a sitcom that’s situated in, let’s say, for example, a Community College. However, before we give these different types of AEGEEans their television contracts, let’s first see who they are.
The Orwellian. If you’ve ever met an AEGEEan, who constantly corrects you when you, for instance, say ‘European Night’, instead of ‘Local Training Course’, or who’s often offended by politically incorrect jokes, you may have met an Orwellian. Orwellians are masters of relabeling concepts or using euphemisms, and therefore, possibly unintentionally, are great at restricting thought. After all, if we cannot phrase our thoughts, because certain words or names of concepts are restricted to us, we can never express these. It is, of course, kind and sensible, if not prudent, to speak in a politically correct language, but only up to a point that you are still in control of your own thoughts; without peer- or self-censorship. The largest threats to a free-thinking democracy, therefore, do not only come from jocularly speaking authoritarians, but also from Orwellians under the guise of strict political correctness.
The Industrious. Because of the negative representation of the Orwellians, it should be cleared up that by far the most knowledgeable and active members of AEGEE are ‘the Industrious’, AEGEE’s Crew of Action Heroes. They are unstoppable, can fix any problem, are sometimes hard to follow, and will do basically any job there is: they’re essentially AEGEE’s Poles. Industrious people, you may not star in a film alongside Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, but your efforts are highly valued and there’s nothing that can stop you. You’re like Kanye West without the ego, or Taylor Swift without Kanye West.
The Sage. You might think that AEGEE is for students, which is true since one of the ‘E’s clearly stands for ‘students’ (just learn French, you’ll get it). Some AEGEEans, however, are alarmingly old. I’m not talking about long-term students, or recently graduated ones, or even honorary members. They’re all (very) active, and perfectly fine. I’m talking about the ‘Sages’, those old members who never go to any activity, but somehow they are still a member of AEGEE. It’s like they paid their membership ten years in advance and then promptly died in their house, never to be discovered by a loved one. Sages are so old that they don’t act like children, they have children. Sages are so old that they think Czechoslovakia is still a country. Sages are so old that they think their advise is somehow more valuable than that of your local Advisory Board. Sages, you’re old, you’re done, and you might want to move on to Les Anciens. It’s not the retirement home, everyone says it is.
The Sugar-Snorting, Happy-go-Lucky, don’t-you-need-any-sleep? Pixies. Imagine that at the Agora. You’re sleeping softly, when suddenly a bright light flashes, music starts playing, and someone starts pulling your leg. You hear a shrill voice yelling, “wake up AEGEE-People”, the voice of one of the Pixies. You’ve barely slept after the party last night, but those Pixies stayed there longer than you. You desperately need to drink coffee, but they don’t. They don’t ever get sleepy during the day, and you know they’ll be just as hyperactive at the party this night. You don’t even know, if you’re fit enough to go to the party at all this night. Are you getting old? Have they discovered the cure for eternal youth? Would it be legal to try their cure for eternal youth? But you don’t have the time for that, cause, before you know it, you fall back to sleep… early. Good night.
The Party-Animal. AEGEE is all about making new friends, expanding one’s national horizon, and maybe feeling a bit more European. It’s also not intended to be entirely serious; we have fun at socials, or on trips, exchanges, or even at the Agora. However, to some, AEGEE’s not intended to be serious at all. These Party-Animals go to socials, because there’s booze; they go to European Nights, because there’s booze; and they go on trips, because there’s booze… and the vague promise of casual procreation. Party-Animals, you’re a source for great fun, but we don’t like to nurse your hangovers and we don’t like you’re the reason that there are condoms in our welcome package, other than safe sex. Oh, who are we kidding, we love you. With moderation.
The Hibernator. Summer is by far my favourite season of the year. Especially the late spring/early summer, when all the flowers are still blooming and when that weird kid nobody likes can’t leave his house, because of his wicked hay fever. But there are some AEGEEans who are so in love with the summer, they basically just show up for the Summer Universities. These ‘Hibernators’ only see AEGEE as a cheap way to go on holiday. They’re the unknown members you think are new, but have actually been in AEGEE for years. They’re the strangers who suddenly turn up on an exchange and who you think belong to the other local. They love to travel, but are not fun to travel with; they’re basically your parents, which is a shame, cause some of these Hibernators are actually nice people.
Do you have a favourite type, do you find these recognisable, or did we miss one? Let us know in the comments and on Facebook.
Written by Willem Laurentzen, AEGEE-Nijmegen