“I like spending time at AEGEE -talking to some people- but I’m also fine with just doing my job or unwind by myself.” … “Of course, I love spending time with my friends, but I don’t want to do any of that silly dancing-on-a-bar or sexy-tequila-stuff” … “I am an introvert, but I don’t want to be left out!”

If this sounds familiar, then you might like this beginner’s guide for introverts to make it a bit easier to mingle with others. However, one fair disclaimer before reading: (1) there is absolutely nothing wrong with regular introversion, (2) extroversion is not a universal ideal, (3) The AEGEEan does not condone the idea that introverts ought to be ‘converted’ to extroversion.

Embrace Your Inner James Bond

One of the hardest things to do for an introvert is to start a conversation. You might spend entire minutes thinking of the perfect opening line, the golden icebreaker, that one thing that will make you sound amazing and cool… but it does not exist. Which is not your fault, by the way: there literally is no perfect opening line. Whenever extroverts start a conversation, they do so with the ‘boring classics’: “hey, how are you?”, “how have you been?” “man, it is chilly in here, is it not?” (or basically anything related to the current weather or temperature).

Do not take my word for it, go check it out for yourself. One golden tip for introverts is to closely listen to other people starting and having a conversation. Listen to what they say, see what they do, memorise and try for yourself. Extroversion is like another language, you learn it best by imitating and practising with native speakers. It is actually kind of cool; you are like a spy, trying to figure out everything about the enemy so you can blend in perfectly (just do not refer to your future friends as ‘the enemy’, though).

Let People Talk About Themselves

You may have already noticed this, but each of the aforementioned ‘boring classic opening lines’ are questions, and this is something extroverts do almost subconsciously. Introverts might want to start conversations with a beautiful statement or a compliment, but people often only reply with a short sentence after a compliment. The great thing about questions is that you kind of force the other person to give a longer reply: he or she has to answer your question.

Asking questions is a great way to keep any conversation going. Even if someone does not ask you a question back, you can still ask them another question: asking a question is like pushing the talk-with-me button.

Not everyone will answer every question, but remember that the one thing everyone is often very talkative about is themselves: everyone is his or her own expert and many people like themselves and their lives, hobbies and interests. So, if you are interested in knowing more about a person, ask them about themselves and the things they have done. If you do not like talking, but love to know more about another person, this strategy is the best. If you execute it rightly, you will only be doing about ten percent of the talking -and that is mostly questions and some short statements about yourself (’cause, be honest: you also have some interesting things to tell about yourself… just not in that much detail).

Online Chatting Is Your Friend

Because some of our friends at AEGEE live in far-off countries, it becomes necessary to chat with them online. However, if you are shy, do not use Skype: use a text-messaging-service like Facebook Messenger or What’s App. This way there are no eyes staring at you, it is just you -cosy in your own room- the other person, whom you cannot see directly, and time.

The great thing about texting is that it makes it already slower to communicate, which serves as a smokescreen for you to think about what you want to say, type it, rewrite it and check it one last time, before you send it to your friend (and he or she will never know that you took your time formulating your words). One of the most stressful things about talking to someone might be that you feel like you have to come up with some brilliant reply as soon as the other person stops talking, but with a text-messaging-service you can chat live, while still having some time to think.

Do Not Forget to Take Some Time for Yourself

Being extremely open and sociable takes a ridiculously high amount of energy from an introvert, and it might take you several months or even years, before extensive social interaction will actually GIVE you energy (yes, that is a thing). So, do not forget to take some time for yourself to recharge.

Moreover, remember that “extroversion comes with the tide”. If you feel great, it is good to try to come out of your shell, but instead, if you feel sad or tired, it is okay, healthy even, to go into full introvert mode. Do not do anything that you do not feel comfortable with; feeling happy, or having to feel happy the entire time, is also unhealthy behaviour (we are people, sometimes we feel terrible and that should be acknowledged).

How to Manage/Survive Parties

Moreover, choose your activities wisely. Sometimes you might feel like you do not fit into the group because you skip some activities or parties, but -let’s be honest- some of them are simply not appealing. Moreover, you do not need to go to all the parties and activities (I mean, come on). However, it is strongly recommended that you see which parties you might enjoy (if only for one hour). For example: traditional-cooking-workshop & traditional-[insert name of country here] party, yes; wet-t-shirt-party, no.

Furthermore, going to an activity does not mean ‘doing everything at that activity’. If, for instance, there is a Karaoke Party, please go (even if you do not want to stand on a stage and sing). It is a great opportunity to mingle with your close friends, without ever going on stage to sing. Nevertheless, if you feel up to it, you can try to go on stage and sing with a group (you know… just in the background so not many people can actually see or hear you). P.s. Extroverts are also often scared to stand on a podium by themselves.

The bottom line is: choose where you want to go to and what you want or do not want to do at an event. Try to push yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone, but remember: whatever you feel is right IS right.

Speaking of extroverts, they sometimes think that, if you do not go to a party or talk much, you do not like it or do not like them. This, by the way, is a major problem for extroverts: NOT your problem. Nevertheless, it would mean the world to them if you just took part to a party or activity (you do not need to do anything special). And, if you are there, go talk to them and tell them that they should not be “so bloody insecure”.

Find Your Go-To-Guy/Gal

For a final tip, when at activities, parties or anywhere else, a conversation can go stale without it being your fault. The other person you are talking to is not feeling so well, he or she is sad, you two just do not click, et cetera (this is also an extrovert’s problem). However, even though it is not your fault, you still feel a bit silly for being all alone in a crowd. That is why it is helpful, if not important, to have a ‘go-to-guy’ or a ‘go-to-gal’: a person you can always go to at an event to socialise with (if only for a couple of minutes, until you can socialise with someone else… for example, your best friend). It is a great way to not feel alone, and a great way not to feel left out in a group.

If anything else fails, however, bring a book (okay, maybe not to a party). ‘Cause, whenever everyone is bored or is having uninteresting conversations, you are inside a captivatingly rich world. It is a tip that I personally took to heart and, probably, the best one anyone has ever given me.

Written by Willem Laurentzen, AEGEE-Nijmegen

 One of the cheapest ways to travel is hitchhiking, which is also used by AEGEEans, with some locals even organising hitchhiking competitions. Still though, many people haven’t tried it before and might even be scared to try. Are you one of them? Don’t worry! The AEGEEan has written a short hitchhiking course to help you out!

How to prepare?

Before you go to your final destination, it’s a good idea to look at the map and see what cities are on the way. It’s not very likely that you will get one straight ride to your final destination, so you will have to hitchhike from city to city until you reach your destination. Write down which cities are along the way and make different signs for those cities (use the front and back to save the trees) so you just have to use the signs in the right order. While making the signs, make sure that the letters are at least as big as those on a number plate so people can read it. It can also be a good idea to make a “fun” sign with for example smiley faces or ‘free hugs’ to make people smile (which gives you a better chance of getting a ride). Last but not least, save the telephone numbers of your lift partner and a friend at home who knows about your plans so you know who to call if you lose each other or a problem occurs.

Where to stand?

When you are looking for a place to get a ride, it is best to go for a place where drivers are able to stop or have to stop anyway. Good examples are gas stations, (just after) traffic lights, special hitchhiking spots and parking places along the road. Wherever you decide to stand, make sure that the drivers passing by can read your sign, and they have the ability to (safely!) stop to pick you up.

How to act?

In general, it’s most important that you behave like the kind of person you would give a ride. This means that you will have to smile, be polite and friendly when you ask for a ride and in general give of a positive vibe. Some people are scared to take people, so show them that you are nothing to be scared of and change their mind about hitchhiking. It can and will be done! Also, be prepared to wait for fifteen to sixty minutes, since hitchhiking sadly is not the fastest way of transport.

You found a ride!

Great!! Do remember that you are not obligated to accept any rides, so if you don’t trust someone, just (politely) reject them and search for another ride. Also make sure that you remember the number plate of the car or even write it down, so you can text it to your friend in the (hopefully unlikely) case something goes wrong. To keep you from forgetting your personal belongings (backpack, coat, etc.) it’s best to keep them on your lap or on the seat next to you and not in the trunk. You would be very lucky to get a ride straight to your final destination, so if this isn’t the case, ask the driver to drop you off at a gas station or hitchhiking spot so you can easily get your next ride. Once you are in the city center it’s often hard to get away, so try to avoid this!

And, remember: have fun!

Written by Svenja van der Tol, AEGEE-Nijmegen

Once every four years it’s time for the biggest soccer event again: the World Cup of soccer. Many AEGEEans will be watching, which can also be done together in the Facebookgroup, but not all of them will be soccer fanatics in their daily life. Especially for those people, the AEGEEan has created a guide: how to survive the World Cup without soccer knowledge. Do you watch soccer because your friends and family are watching too, are you the one asking a lot of questions during the game or do you really only watch the European and World Cup games (and maybe not even all)? Then this guide is meant for you!

Before the game

The easiest way to deal with a lack of knowledge, is to find a group of friends or family who have the same (or even less) knowledge about soccer as you. This way, the walking soccer encyclopedia’s don’t have to get annoyed at your – in their eyes – dumb questions, and you don’t have to feel stupid, because in your carefully selected group nobody will know the name of all players on the field ánd the reserves. Who needs to, anyway? However, if you don’t know how many players are in a team normally and you therefore can’t find people who know less than you (likely to happen sadly), it might be good to look at some Soccer for Dummies pages, like this one.

Since World Cup matches are normally watched with a group of diverse people, the chances are high that you will still encounter a few ‘professionals’. Keep calm and read on, because we have some tips ready! First of all, look up some trivia facts about the World Cup or match of the night to impress your fellow fans with. Did you know that every time a South American country hosted the World Cup, the trophy went to a South American country too or that The Simpsons dedicated an episode to World Cup 2014? Neither did I, but now you do! The true soccer fans, who can name all the scores of the last twenty years, might already know this, but in general there will be some fun trivia facts you can impress people with, leading to them thinking that you do know something about soccer (and that’s a secret we will keep). Find more trivia here.

During the game

First of all, if you are planning to watch a match, it’s important to make sure you are wearing the right colors. Don’t be the Dutchie who shows up in red to the match Spain – Netherlands, because you will be disliked no matter how much carefully prepared knowledge you have to share. Once you are present, wearing the right kind of colors, there are two options to use during the game: ducktape or ‘fake it until you make it’. The first option doesn’t need much explanation, since it’s a simple matter of applying ducktape (preferably in your national colour too) to your face, and shutting up for the rest of the match. The second option is a combination of copying what the commentators, your friends (the ones with knowledge) and newspapers say, while screaming at the right moments. Rooting for the wrong team and wearing the wrong color are a close call, so make sure you know on what side your team is playing (and what color they are wearing) to prevent yourself getting killed.

After the game

Whether or not you have watched, if you want to keep the conversations going with your soccer loving friends it’s important to have some basic knowledge about the match. If you won’t miss your friends that much, you can always just book a holiday and come back after the finals, but if you do, it’s mostly important to know the score of the game. Luckily, Google is always there and looking up matches isn’t that hard (unless you need a course of Google for Dummies too, but then you probably wouldn’t be reading this guide either). Besides, it might also be helpful to have a memory of the highlights (watched live or not), which luckily FIFA has made a page for with videos, to be found here.

Is your head spinning with knowledge to gain? Don’t worry, most important about the World Cup is to have fun, watching the games with your friends and enjoying some nice drinks and food. Besides, at the end of the day people might just be happy that you are the one asking dumb questions, even if they roll their eyes, since at least that means they are smarter. If nothing works, you can always make people feel good about themselves and have another drink. Keep calm and watch soccer (even with a lack of knowledge).

Written by Svenja van der Tol, AEGEE-Nijmegen